~I'm Stronger Now~

Our society finds shame in abuse. 

Shame.

Embarrassment.

Fear.

A Social Pariah.

Just to be clear, this is  shame for the abused, not the Abuser.

Marry a drunk? We've gotta support group for you. As many times a week as you want. Marry a heroine addict? Womanizer? Thief? Every shoulder in a twelve mile radius will be proffered for your use. 

Marry an abuser? How did he do it? I see no scars. Where's your proof? In short, most of society screams to the abused: "I don't believe you. " 

You find your life being spoken of behind your back in hushed tones. Always the downward glance. The shame. 

Now imagine that times five. I had to endure much more than fleeing my home that day in August. When the dust began to clear, I found myself homeless, my vehicle had died along with the family dog, and everything on which I had based the previous 14 years was a lie. Oh yeah, don't forget about the abuse. 

"I can't be." 

"It's not that bad."

"Isn't that a convenient truth."

"He was so good looking!" 

"I don't believe you."

"But he was nice when I knew him."

"Why did you leave him that gun?" (As if)

And…. my personal favorite, "We'll never know the truth." (from his parents, no less)

I've attempted to start some public discourse on abuse since, and have met a wall of silence. It's a problem. We all know it's there. But it always happens to someone else. 

I AM YOUR SOMEONE ELSE.

Today, as we drove over the prairie in our not-so-covered-wagon, I knew that this trip was teaching my children so much more than the topography of this Great Nation. No one will ever have them turn their head's in shame. NO one. I've stood in the gap for them and will continue to do so. I will teach them, by great example, to suck all the marrow from life, and to never look down. Terrible things have happened to us, yes, but those terrible things are merely a stepping stone to greatness. Those terrible things will never define them. 

I have been given four wondrous gifts from God. He is doing great things in each of them. Their past is merely their past, and their futures have yet to be written.

Society (YOU, dear reader), needs to learn to turn abuse on it's head. By talking about domestic abuse in all of it's forms, we turn the tables on the abuser. The Abuser lives and thrives in the dark and secret corners of life. Turn on the lights by keeping open dialogues with everyone in your life. 

Life is wondrous and precious,

Pay it forward.